Before I get started, I want to recognize the disappointment you undoubtedly feel: my holiday card this year doesn't hold a candle to my card last year. Clearly, I peaked too soon and I have to come to terms with that. But if 2020 has taught us anything, it's that we can and must persevere and continue onward even in the darkest of times.
I actually put off writing my update and yearly reflection for quite awhile. Like many, I have a lot of mixed feelings about a year that I don't think anyone could have predicted or anticipated.
But while 2020 turned out to be a tough year, January and February were thankfully filled with friends and fun. I went to the Westminster Dog Show over the course of two days, which fulfilled a lifelong dream I never knew I had. I took a weekend trip to the Hamptons with some wonderful girlfriends where I did as the Hamptonians do (drink wine and be bougie). I got to visit some friends in the Chicago area who happen to run a huge national greenhouse operation. And, boy, did I get to hang out with some cute bébés.
On the work front, at the start of the year I began working as a contract / interim COO at a (then) pre-launch cereal brand, OffLimits, where I helped them manage the supply chain and production of their cereal, and set up a lot of process and infrastructure as they barreled toward their launch in the spring / summer. I even got to visit the production facility in middle-of-nowhere Minnesota and pretended to star in an episode of How It's Made.
OffLimits officially launched this summer, but at the end of February they introduced the brand at an event in LA. The OffLimits tagline is "Break the Rules," and for this event they collaborated with a dozen amazing artists who contributed pieces of artwork that, for them, "broke the rules." I didn't know it then but it was the last time in 2020 that I was in a room packed with people. I also got very drunk at that party (please note my expression and 50th can of wine in my hand in the picture to the right), so I guess if you're going to go out, go out with a bang.
A day or so later I made my way from LA to Las Vegas to start the trip of a lifetime. I was invited by one of my oldest and dearest friends to go on a rafting trip on the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. I'd never been river rafting, so I was nervous about what I was getting into and whether I'd be able to keep up with the group of avid hikers and rock-climbers, not to mention being completely disconnected from the outside world for 10 or so days.
It ended up being one of the best experiences I have ever had. The river and the canyon were breathtaking, the river rafting was exhilarating, the weather was near-perfect, and to say that we ate well would be an understatement. I managed to successfully capsize in a packraft and require a rescue by one of the other larger boats at least three times. I managed to cut down the time it took me to squeeze into a dry suit to 57 minutes. But the best part was that every person that Andrea and Erik selected to join this trip were the loveliest, most thoughtful people. We had fun taking turns cooking, cleaning, and partaking in "groover" duty (don't ask). If I could do it all over again tomorrow, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment (though I probably would have packed a bit lighter).
We launched our trip on March 5th. I emerged from the canyon (after the longest and hardest hike of my life at a non-stop incline with a 30 lb pack) on March 14th with a message from my sister-in-law that said "Um, so, everyone is fine, but you should call me because... you've missed a lot."I truly had no idea that the world had quite literally changed in the 10 days that I'd been in the Canyon. (While I didn't do the full 20 day rafting trip -- just the first half -- this NYT article sums up what it felt like.)
Flying back to LA then New York the following day would turn out to be the last time I would travel in 2020. The next 24 hours felt as though I was entering a post-apocalyptic world. Once I got back to New York, I entered quarantine in my little apartment in Harlem and began my adjustment to pandemic life. It was hard. It was lonely. I missed hugging my friends (still do). I felt scared for the people in my life who contracted the virus and, in some cases, got really sick. I didn't know what was going to happen to New York as I watched the numbers of the sick and dying skyrocket within weeks, within days.
But while it was scary and devastating for awhile, it began to get better, at least in New York. Everyone started getting into a routine, figuring out how to adjust to life in this new masked, physically distanced reality. Most of my work contracts had been impacted by COVID, so between March and May, I had a LOT of time on my hands. I did what most people did: watched Tiger King and Cheer, took a few online courses (highly recommend), worked out with friends over FaceTime, learned a fair number of TikTok dances. I bought a bike before there was a run on bicycles and spent a lot of time in Central Park. I tuned into Cuomo's press briefings as a part of my daily meditation practice. I did Zoom happy hours with the people I missed who were far away, like in Mexico or Sweden, or Brooklyn.
The numbers started going down and the temperature started rising. Once summer rolled around we were able to spend time with friends again (outside, masks at the ready). New York ended up becoming one of the "safer" places to be. There is truly not a day that goes by that I don't express gratitude out loud for having friends and family nearby. I am lucky, and I don't take that for granted for a second.
This summer in New York is one that I will never forget; between the pandemic, lockdown, and the impending election, we were already witness to an unprecedented time. But being in New York to see the societal reckoning unfold following George Floyd's death: the peaceful protests juxtaposed with the blatant intimidation and brutality of the police force in my neighborhood and across New York... Look, I don't think there's anything I could write here that wouldn't come across as trite, so I'll keep it short and simply say that it brought me face-to-face with the fact that I'd been a fair-weather ally to my friends who have had to deal with an unbearable weight, and I'm working at being better.
Now, there are moments that seem as if they happen by random chance, and then there are moments that feel like the Universe is conspiring in your favor. On a whim I reached out to a start-up founder I'd met through an investor once or twice in Summer 2019. While it turned out that we were neighbors in Harlem, I hadn't seen or spoken to her in about a year... until one day when she popped into my mind out of the blue. I'd really admired her and her company's mission, and I listened to the little voice that insisted I email her as a part of my regular outreach to investors to garner work. I figured it was worth it to see if she knew of anyone who needed some contract customer experience and operations expertise.
Turns out she did know someone... herself. About three weeks later (and after telling her I wasn't the right person for the job once or twice), I started in mid-June as the Chief Operating Officer at The Cru. We match small circles of women who coach one another to accelerate their personal and professional growth. I could not be more excited to get back to doing what I love: connecting people and building teams. And as someone who had personally experienced the benefits of a similar program two years prior, the fact that I get to help build a company centered on connecting and empowering women... I mean, the Universe really outdid herself with this one. My experience over the last six months has been at once exciting, terrifying, exhausting, humbling, educational, and fun. I'm really excited to see what 2021 will bring The Cru.
On the non-work front, I signed on as an advisor for a non-profit, Grace Children's Foundation, which is dedicated to helping children all over the world with serious illnesses find the care they need. We're working on bringing GCF's work to the modern digital age and partnering with companies and organizations like Microsoft and WebMD on creating a digital platform and portal that would help expand their reach exponentially. Meeting Nancy and the GCF team was also through divine intervention, and I'm grateful the Universe provided yet again.
The family is doing well, all things considered. Megan's freshman year at Stanford got cut short in the spring, so to speak, so for the start of this school year she and some friends worked on an organic farm (WWOOF) for the fall. Alison is in her senior year and in the throes of college applications, but she still had the time to produce a virtual monologue showcase centered on the pandemic. Tyler is in his freshman year and is exactly as tall as his dad which, should he surpass that, would make him the tallest Rogers family member across three generations.
I get asked a lot about the dating "scene" in New York during a pandemic. As I re-acclimated to the world post-Colorado River and grappled with the state of the world, I also wondered what COVID would do to the state of dating and ended up writing about my hypotheses in a Medium post for an app called Chorus. Nine months later, I wasn't totally wrong about how the pandemic would change the way we date. Of course, I AM still single, but the silver lining is that it was a much more interesting year, dating-wise, because I was able to have deeper, more interesting conversations. Though, let's be honest, it's still soul-crushing at times.
So, what did I learn this year, other than how to do the crow pose in yoga and the importance of a solid brow game? I learned to appreciate being alone, for one. This year created a reverse "grass is greener," and I have an immense appreciation for anyone who had to deal with childcare during a pandemic, especially. For another, I was reminded the importance of gratitude. Everyone in my life is healthy and kept their job. In my case I found a new one. I get to see my family on a regular basis. I may have been grateful for all of that before, but seeing so much grief and loss this year made the impermanence of everything much more real. It's made me take mental Polaroids in the every day moments that I want to remember for when things aren't working out so well.
I hope that, despite all 2020 was, wherever you are and whatever is going on I hope you're able to either take your own mental Polaroids in those moments that are special to you... or that you have some you can bring out when the times are tough.
Thank you to all of you who made my 2020 wonderful, and to all of you who were my bright lights during a strange, dark time. I hope I was able to be a bright light for some of you as well.
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